Seasoned Depression Scented Candle

Smells Like: Pumpkin, Warm Spices, Vanilla, & 20 years of experience.

Why call it "Seasonal" when you’ve been doing this for years? You’re a pro. You’re a veteran. You are seasoned.

This candle is a tribute to your resilience (and your love of bakery scents). It’s heavily seasoned with cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove, blended into a rich pumpkin soufflé base. It smells like a warm hug, which is great, because you probably need one.

Light this up when the sun goes down at 4:30 PM. You know the drill. You’ve been here before. At least this time it smells like pie.

Perfect for:

• Hiding under a weighted blanket.
• People who don't just have baggage, they have matching luggage.
• Filling the void where your serotonin used to be.

The Reality: It’s spicy. It’s sad. It’s delicious.